August 31, 2008 Morning Pages

Slowly dragging myself out of the funk I've been in. It was nice to have a good day out in the sun with the wife and mom-in-law yesterday. The Hermosa Beach Festival was a lot less insane than last year; actually manageable. I just remember last year it being hot, muggy, crowded, and impossible to traverse. Not only were we able to sample a good variety of food, we were also able to easily get table space, walk to whole festival with ease and even listen to some of the bands down there.

As much as I'd like to eventually be one of the bands to play this event, I fear it'll probably never happen simply due to the fact that most of the acts are tribute bands. And though I think a Toto/Hall & Oates tribute would be well received, it's just something I intend to put on my plate in the near future.

(Actually, I would love to have a Toto tribute band. It would absolutely kick ass, and I would have an absolute ball doing it. If Led Zepagain can be the toast of the South Bay, I'm pretty sure my Toto band would clean house. But 1) it's hard enough to find musicians for my own project let alone a cover band, and 2) I need to be making my own bloody music right now. This would be too easy of a distraction. But, as an aside, they are one of the best bands ever. If anyone out there ever does form a tribute band in the LA area, please give me a call. I'll sing and play the shit out of that stuff.)



Day 2 of my “vacation.” Hopefully the agenda today is brunch and a movie with the wife, and then I have a few personal things to take care of. There's a phone call I've been putting off for some time now, and I think this weekend is the time to take care of it. It's not something I'm looking forward to, but it's necessary. A friendship is resting on it, and so is my self-respect.

When I first sat down to write this today, I had contemplated doing a review of Blue Eyed Soul over the ages. And though it sounds like a lot of fun, I think it's actually going to take a little more forethought than a simple stream-of-consciousness rambling in this forum. But with the upcoming release of the new Robin Thicke record (translated: Philip severely needs to get his shit together), it might be appropriate to educate the masses that there are several other artists out there (translated: ME!) that are putting out this kind of excellent music. I do have to admit, I was impressed by Mr. Thicke's interview in Billboard, and I hope his calling Vibe magazine out for not putting a white artist on the cover (except Eminem, where the fuck is the logic?) doesn't backfire on him.



I haven't decided if aping the visual motif from his last record is lazy or brilliant, and it looks like the release date's been pushed from Sep 9 to Sep 30. I hope to God they don't cram that duet version of “Magic” featuring Mary J. Blige on this record. These last-minute duets are obviously sales ploys and really piss me off. Here's hoping Thicke's release is a solid one but obviously not a brilliant as what's coming up from yours truly.

Well, I'm back on a reasonable clip with the writing again. Took me long enough. Hopefully I'll be back tomorrow with even more brilliance. Peace.

August 30, 2008 Noon Pages

Right.

This is the essence of the whole principal of the morning pages. I have absolutely no idea what the hell I'm going to write here today. As per previous entries, I've been pretty lethargic, depressed, and pretty much uninspired for the better part of a week or two. My creative drive has been reduced to squat, and my confidence is about non-existent. I really don't feel like I've got anything to give lately. Which is a real drag, because it's not like I don't have plenty of ideas brewing or on the back-burner.

But it's also Labor Day weekend, and probably the last best hope for me to have any kind of break or vacation before the holidays. I've got 72 hours to try to recharge, relax, and find some way to look forward to the months to come.

So today I'm heading out with the wife and mom-in-law to the Hermosa Beach Festival. This is something they do every Memorial Day and Labor Day weekend. It's got vendors, artists, and bands, and it's generally a pretty cool vibe.

Well, mom-in-law just arrived, so I'll try to make a serious entry tomorrow. It's really time for me to get back into my groove again.

August 28, 2008 Morning Pages - Crawling out from under the rock which I'm hiding

Not a lot of time to journal today, but I wanted to begin getting my creative momentum back. Truth to tell, I've been a little lost, lonely and confused about a lot of things and I've shut up just about completely in an effort to deal with them. I've felt lethargic, depressed, nearly sick. What a terrible way to spend August--generally one of my favorite months.

I've also been caught up in the middle of a whole hot mess of drama that seems to be getting worse rather than better. And that makes me sad.

The good news is that the wife and I had a pretty encouraging talk last night, and it's made me think about what's most important in my life.

But first things first: time to crawl out from under the rock I've been hiding the past few days. Apologies to any of you that have wondered where the hell I was. I'll work on getting right soon.

August 21, 2008 Morning Pages - I have talented friends

Not a lot of time to blog today, and since most of the time all I do is talk about myself in these pages I thought I'd go for something a little different.

The great thing about the internet is how accessible content is nowadays. Combine that with some of the talented people I know and that makes for hopefully a pretty exciting entry. So here's a taste of some of the gifted folks I call friends.

First up is my friend Tony T. I played with Tony in a couple bands back in NYC. Tony is one serious cat. His probably most notable claim to fame was being a part of the "Late Night" band in the early David Letterman days, before Anton Fig. A true gentleman and all around nice-guy, Tony comes from serious old-school drumming, siting influences like Buddy Rich and Gene Crupa.



Next up is Lydia. Now, I've never had the privilege of actually meeting her, but I feel like a kindred spirit with her because the girl is so fundamentally FUNKY. Looks like she's played with the likes of Candy Dulfer and Marcus Miller, and that's good enough to win much respect in my book. Plus, she can SANG. Check this.



Another drummer friend of mine. David Penna is a product rep for Korg. He's also a great songwriter and producer. And I didn't know this at all, but he has a deep love for Jungle Music and Drum and Bass.



I'll wrap this up with Carla Lynne Hall, the DIY Diva. Besides being probably one of the coolest people I know, Carla is a veru talented singer/songwriter in her own right. She also has a great blog for musicians called Rock Star Life Lessons. Pay attention.



That's it for today. I'm gonna be so late for work.

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Drummers, looking to improve your chops? Check out my buddy Tony T's videos. http://ping.fm/fCgUH

is checking out Ben Lazar's awesome article on Imani Coppola http://ping.fm/1ThIK

is cranking out PDFs.

is giving his friends serious love. It sucks to be on my bad side right about now.

download my record for FREE at Aime Street! http://ping.fm/idHIL

New morning pages are up. http://ping.fm/wWn1h or http://ping.fm/6roKO

August 19, 2008 Morning Pages

Man, it was hard to get up this morning. Probably because I was late getting to bed last night. I've also been taking Tai Chi lessons on Monday nights, and my instructor tells me that has a way of keeping up up and restless.

I'm enjoying the Tai Chi very much; I just wish I could remember all the moves. So far we've gone from preparation to 'brush knee and strike right." My retention is terrible, and part of the reason is because I simply don't practice. Now I'm completely guilty of what I used to tell people who never studied their instrument. The whole thing is a great exercise in learning something that, so far, I'm just not very good at. It's taking me completely out of my element and forcing me to get over myself and press on. And I love it. This is something I've always wanted to learn, and I'm sticking with it no matter how difficult it is.


Another thing that I'm committed to until fruition is the Thirty Day Challenge. I've been trying diligently to catch up with the lessons, and I've already learned so much. But my discovery last night was huge.


I'm talking about Flock. I truly believe my days as a Firefox user are numbered because of this awesome web browser. Not only is it fully functional, intuitive, and speedy; it is designed to integrate several social networking sites, email, newsfeeds, blogs--all by itself. Once you've set it up for the first time, all of your personal information is at your fingertips. Plus you can easily drag and drop information as you see fit. It's actually a seriously powerful piece of software, and I can't wait to see what kind of damage I can do with it. The whole thing about the 30dc is to streamline your browsing experience so you have more time to capitalize on targeting your niche audience. I'm picking up the one aspect very quickly, I can't wait to learn the next. For anyone wishing to delve into internet marketing, this FREE online workshop is highly recommended.

Briefly, my friend Christian and I were having a conversation about what appears to be comic pros need to fuss, fight, and create otherwise unsavory drama. And although I've been a party to this myself, in my early days, I really can't believe what I'm seeing lately. It seems that some of these people are just stirring up the shit so they can get noticed and make a bigger name for themselves, thinking that that will somehow yield them some kind of deal quicker. What it's really doing is turning off people who could potentially be their audience and giving the comic book industry a bad rep. These guys need to take lessons from folks like Neil Gaiman, Alan Moore, Frank Miller and Mark Millar--that rarely does personal drama get you anywhere. What really gets you anywhere is the work you create.

This is a lesson that, thanks to these other examples, I can easily remind myself of. It puts a lot of the past couple weeks in perspective and clears my head to go out and do exactly what it is I need to.

Testing, testing, one two three...

Just testing out a new way to blog stuff. If you like what you see, why don't you go pick it up?

Blogged with the Flock Browser

just discovered Flock, and it is good.

August 18, 2008 Morning Pages - Dreams, 30-day Challenge, and more

Ever have one of those dreams when there's a character in it about to dispense some kind of really important knowledge--something mind-shattering and truly earth-changing--when, all of a sudden, just as he's about to speak this ultimate pearl of wisdom, your alarm goes off?

Welcome to my Monday. I hate those kind of dreams almost as much as the dream where you've met this amazingly beautiful woman. And for some unbelievable reason (hey, it's a dream) she wants to have sex with you. You kiss, engage in some very awe-inspiring foreplay and just as your about to have the dream sex of your life...well, we all know what happens.

I don't know why my subconscious is pulling the rug out from under me like that lately. Perhaps it's sending me a message. Get it while the getting's good. Maybe that was the mind-shattering revelation I missed this morning. I reflect on this knowing that I've been doing the exact opposite for the past couple weeks. That I've been so hurt and depressed by recent events that I'd pretty much shut down creatively, and now I'm kicking myself for the progress I've lost. I have to remember I have a lot of shit to do and it's not going to do itself.

So please let this be the end of my suffering and anger due to recent events. Let this serve as notice that I truly don't care what my enemies say about me, because--as Michael Franti--would say: If I'm not making enemies, I'm not doing my job. There will always be petty, jealous people out there trying to nay-say you or steal your thunder. I simply need to be focused and confident enough to not care about them or what they have to say. My mistake was trusting those people long enough to let them rattle me in the first place.

Anyway, on to other things. I've been late to the party on the Thirty Day Challenge, and I wanted to take a moment to plug it. Ed Dale has taken the time and energy to help you--yes, even you--to make your first $10 online. I'm still in the preseason, but even the tips to supercharge your web browser and streamline your ability to discover and manage content on the web has been impressive. I highly recommend Bloglines for anyone that browses blogs and news feeds with any kind of frequency. There's also StumbleUpon, which if placed in the wrong hands could be a monumental time waster. But, thanks to Ed, in a relatively short amount of time, I've been able to centralize my news sources without having to load a bunch of windows in my browser--which is pretty fucking huge. I'm going to try to catch up to the rest of the program as quickly as I can this week, and I also need team members. So if this is something that sounds even remotely interesting to you, please sign up and get back to me letting me know you're needing a team. Perhaps we can help each other out.

As long as I'm plugging sites, there are a couple music-based sites that I've found very interesting. Rock Star Life Lessons is run by my good friend and colleague, Carla Hall. Also, if you like Soul Music, check out Ben Lazar's Deeper Shade of Soul blog. He just wrote a moving tribute to the recent passing of producer and music mogul Jerry Wexler.

That's all I really have time for today, and I didn't even get to lay out my goals for the week. I'll post those tomorrow, hopefully.

August 17, 2008 Noon Pages

Sorry I missed yesterday, took a much-needed day for myself. Ended up hanging at the beach and having a great hang with my friend Scott. Nice to finally find a male friend out here that I feel I have a lot in common with.

Anyway, this entry will more than likely be Part 2 of my “You're All Wrong” posting. You see, there was a reason I posted that the other day. I knew it was filled will anger, bile, venom and hate. I knew it was released to enflame and irritate. I knew I was potentially unleashing a very negative sentiment and that I might turn a lot of people off with it.

Did I mean any of those things I wrote? Only slightly. It was mainly for show.

Part of being a creator also means being a fictionalist. While these morning pages are mostly biographical, they are not completely. Part of this exercise is to keep my creative juices, and as a result there will more than likely be material here that doesn't necessarily come off as being exactly how I feel about things.

Am I angry sometimes? Surely. Do I sometimes wish my detractors and enemies ill-will? Occasionally. Do I truly believe the tirade I unleashed upon you, the masses, the other day?

Nah.

But there is a voice in everyone of us as a creative. A voice that has to ignore reality and the conventions of common society. Anyone that has truly thrived in a creative industry, such as the entertainment business, has done so because the ignored common sense long enough to attain their goals.

You don't think Prince, or Picasso, or George Clooney would have been the creative giants they are if they had listened to the sensible precautions they received when they were younger. “An artist?” I can hear it now. “You want to be an artist? Why not try something more stable? You're good with numbers. Why not become an accountant?”

Could you imagine what kind of world we'd live in if Prince had become an accountant instead of the musical god he is?

That's the kind of thing we creatives have to hear every day. Especially as we're struggling to become something greater than what we currently are. And I bet you, at this very moment, there is an accountant out there in the world just plotting and planning for his time in the spotlight as something greater than his previous programming. I live in a city of waitresses, graphic designers, janitors, and nurses just holding out for their shot at stardom.

You see, I have always held the belief that I am a super-hero. Call it years of reading and then eventually creating too many comic books. But the super-hero has the best mindset when it comes to being larger than you actually are. Secret identity and all. By day, you're a mild-mannered photographer for a major metropolitan newspaper. By night, you're swinging over the rooftops of Manhattan, climbing walls and taking out the scum and villainy that preys upon the innocent. Who doesn't want to be like that?

Every single creative person has the same alter-ego going on with them every day. It's the only thing that keeps us going. I have to believe that one day I will be a star, that something I have created will be appreciated by a greater audience. Hell, might even improve or affect the world which is so much larger and greater than myself.

This is the grand self-deception that we artists must have to stay alive. Because if we didn't have it, this world would just be filled with plain folks.

So realize that I've spent years knowing that “with great power comes great responsibility.” I've taken a lot of time to truly realize whether I'm using my powers for good and evil. Those of you that truly know me know that I am a creature of light. That I could never be mindfully harmful of anyone or anything. That I am always trying to create, to heal. And I have a body of work to back that up.

I am a hero. Those of you that question that might want to take another look at who's telling you differently. Maybe they've made decisions that are not as righteous.

Don't have as much time this morning to crank out the tirade I had planned, which is probably a good thing. Instead, I'll just go stream-of-consciousness and send a fairly brief message to all my detractors.

You might remember a couple days ago I took the temperature here on how many people are still paying attention and/or support my endeavors. The response was somewhat light. But to those people I say a genuine and heartfelt 'thank you.' The messages, IM, and emails that I got from you were humbling and inspiring at the same time. I thank you for your well wishes and appreciate having you on my side and in my life.

What follows is for the rest of you, to those that do not support me and/or maybe actually be going out of their way to sabotage my progress or good name...

You're all wrong.

And if you think that your slings and arrows are going to dissuade me; if you think that you can back-stab me, spit in my face, disrespect me or try to ruin me, you've got another thing coming. Far worthier people have tried and failed. I'm a survivor, and I'm far more clever and talented and any single one of you. I've pulled myself from a cow-town in B-fucking-E Wyoming to being one of the most respected session players in New York City. I've played The Apollo, for fuck's sake. I started my own publishing company, and I released my science fiction epic to rave reviews. And I've earned the admiration and respect of my peers and colleagues in the comic book industry. I even uprooted all that from New York and re-planted it in LA, and after all that it's flourishing.

I've battled a broken home, divorced parents, trailer parks, depression, a schizophrenic mother, alcohol abuse, drug abuse, small press collectives, pathetic internet feuds, song sharks, shady managers, Hollywood blowhards, corporations, hacks, liars, muggers, hookers, overly loud guitar players and crack addicts. And I'm still here to tell the tale.

And you are not ready for what's coming from me. You simply are not. I am going to come on harder than the fundamental tone of the loudest 808 boom you've ever experienced. I am going to rattle walls, shatter windows, scare the bejeezus out of your household pets, make your women cream and your men reconsider their alleged manhood.

You're not ready. So I advise you to stay out of my way. Especially those of you that have pissed me off. You know who you are.

You've got nothing. You're a bunch of amateurs.

What the fuck have you done, anyway?

August 14, 2008 Morning Pages - On the Kirkman Manifesto

Ok, it's time to get back to it. I've spent enough time wallowing in depression, and frankly I'm sick of it. There's simply too much to do, and never enough time to do it.

Today I'm thinking about a couple subjects, but first I want to discuss Robert Kirkman's Mission Statement. First of all, that's a misnomer. What he posted was not a true mission statement--something that outlines his personal platform and goals for his life or career--but rather a series of opinions on how he feels the comic industry should be running. The title "video editorial" is much more suitable to "mission statement." I got nothing out of the video that told me who Kirkman thinks he is and what he personally intends to do with this newfound stature he's attained.

That said, I did find his remarks intriguing. In fact, he's not really saying anything at this point that a lot of us indie comic book folk don't already feel. but I think he offers some great philosophies and alternatives for creators that get stuck working for the Big Two and then get discarded like so much rubbish. And if you follow the examples of folks who have already applied his philosophy (Neil Gaiman, Mark Millar, Frank Miller), you can see he's pretty spot on with his assessment that there's only so much wealth to be had working for Marvel or DC. He also makes a pretty compelling case about the market of Fanboys (or, more accurately, FanMEN), and how that role could very well be the last nail in the coffin of mainstream comics. Plus, I know a lot of creators that absolutely get stuck in the predicament Kirkman describes: going to work for the Big Two and then having nothing to show for it at the end of the day. All that creation and not any way to profit from it in the long run.

Now, I'm a fan of Brian Michael Bendis, and listening to Kirkman made me really think about the position he's in at this point. Bendis is a prime candidate for being swept under the rug just as Kirkman describes. Because, what's he really got at Marvel that's going to pay off long term. He's got Powers, and that's about it. Every thing else he's done for the House of Ideas has been with their characters. He's spent years hammering out stories about Spidey, Wolverine, The Avengers, etc. Those stories will eventually fade into history and he won't see a dime for them. The best Bendis could do to profit from his contracts at Marvel is to become Editor-in-Chief, and I don't see that kind of thing happening for quite a long time. He might be one of those creators that might do well jumping ship, as Kirkman suggests. Geoff Johns is another one of these people. What the hell is he going to do once his star fades?

I think Kirkman did well to shine some light on the fact that the comic book industry is going to need original content to survive; that Marvel and DC are huge corporations that, at this state, will run themselves. That there is a home for superheroes, and there always will be. The the best an independent creator can do is just that: create. Come up with as many original properties as you can and hang onto to the IP rights with all your might. We've seen that Hollywood is scooping up just about every comic book property it can right now. Whether that's going to be a benefit or a detriment in the long run remains to be seen.

But one thing's for certain: it's the best chance for small guys like me to profit from this whole business. So, thank you, Robert Kirkman. Even though your mission statement was poorly named, you got your point across. I'm sure comic creators all over the world will be talking about it for a while.

That's all I have time for today. Tomorrow: You're All Wrong.

August 13, 2008 Morning Pages - Please Check In!

Don't have a ton of time this morning, but I did want to start getting back into the habit of journaling here again. It's been a rough couple of weeks, but I've worked out a lot of the issues that have kept me from recording my thoughts. I wish I could make them public, but I really needed to internalize to keep from upsetting certain parties.

That said, at this point I am rallying for your support. There is going to come a time soon when I will be calling on my friends, fans, colleagues and associates, and I need to know who's still paying attention out there. The lackluster response to announcements I made during Comic Con week leads me to believe that the answer is simply: not many folks are paying attention. It's a dangerous position an artists finds himself in when he feels he's lost his audience. And worse, it's an even more dangerous position that one finds himself in when he feels he's lost actual friends.

I don't do this a lot; call out for support. But I do need it right now. I need to know who's still on my side; who is still committed to my mission. So I'm asking any and all that are reading these words to please add a comment expressing your support. I need to rally a team together, and soon I will be calling on each and everyone of you. Do me a favor and make yourselves known here. And please join my mailing list here. Please?

Who here is still on Team Phil?

August 10, 2008 Midnight Pages

Yeah, it's about time I came back to explain some things.

I've missed this process. I've missed being able to write without any real consequence or restriction. It's too bad that I've been self-censoring. I shouldn't have to do that, but I am ever conscious of pissing some person or rather off, so I've been keeping my trap shut.

It was probably a wise move, because I really have some pretty flammable opinions right now. Those of you that know me probably know what they are, so it doesn't make any sense to go negative.

The lesson this week: let it go and move on. I thank my friend Mike for that. The good news is that fortune has again maybe swung in my favor. So from this point on, it's full steam ahead.

I've needed these couple weeks to regroup and reform. Expect some serious shit to hit this week. Stay tuned.

Tomorrow, expect a real morning page.

August 4, 2008 Morning Pages

Just a quick note to let those that care that I'm alive and well. Feeling a little more hopeful about the week to come but still not inspired enough to write anything that's not going to come across as angry and bitter.

So I'm just working on me for the moment. Thanks to those of you that have contacted me with your concern. It means a lot.