I know it's been awhile since I posted. And there's no decent excuse, although I'll more than likely try to make some up. To be honest, I needed to take some time to recharge and relax. And, it's official, I am on hiatus until 2009.

But I wanted to let everyone know things have actually been going better in my life and pursuits. Let's just get to the health thing first. A couple months ago I let my friends know that I'd had some bloodwork done, and my triglycerides (or fatty acids in the blood) were off the chart. Thanks to some medication and a complete change of diet I'm happy to report that I've gotten than number back down to a reasonable level and my risk of heart disease as significantly reduced. Also, as a matter of not having a physical exam in a long time, I also got a chest x-ray (mainly because I've been an occasional social smoker). That, also, came up negative. So that's the good news on the health front.

Also glad to report that my full-time job is going very well. After more than a year of championing my own cause to be brought on board full-time at the day gig, they finally did it. Have had a good couple month, feel a lot more financially secure, and even got a generous bonus from my bosses. In a time when things are on the downturn for the country, I thank my lucky stars I was able to pull this out of my hat. It made my Christmas a lot easier to handle.

Had a nice Christmas Eve with the wife. Ate lots of awesome cheeses and meats, drank lots of champagne and watched some holiday classics on the tube. The dogs enjoyed their presents and Beggin Strips. It was a nice way to cap off the holiday season. Today we head down to the in-laws and open our gifts. Ham and tri-tip on the menu. I'm so going off diet. I'm also taking Tom & Jerrys down with me.

HERE'S THE FREE MUSIC PART:

Since I'm feeling particularly jovial and generous today, I've decided to make my first record, The State of Blue-Eyed Soul, a free download. This is a limited offer until Christmas is over. Whether that's later tonight or through the weekend remains to be see. I guess it all depends on if the word spreads. So without further adieu, here is the link to the file:

http://ping.fm/kWdyS

Enjoy the music and tell your friends a really cool record is online for free.

Lastly, I want to thank some people who were instrumental in keeping me from totally offing myself this year. I honestly don't know what I would have done if you all weren't in my life.

Christy - We've gone through hell and back this year. I know it's been tough, but there is really no one on earth I'd rather do this with. I love you and look forward to making next year our best ever.

Doug Logan - Your friendship has been a welcome gift this year. I wish you all the luck possible through this difficult time in your life and will ever be there when you need a friend.

Scott Ludwig - In the brief time we've been friends, we've had a lot of fun and great conversation. It's so refreshing to have someone to lay all of the shit no one else understand upon. I appreciate having a kindred spirit, and I'll stop now before I start sounding too gay.

Michael and Donna De Lepine - Although we haven't seen much of each other of late, your continued support and friendship are never lost on me. I hope we all get a chance to hang out soon, and I wish you much luck with your future plans. I know I'll miss you deeply when you guys head out to the island.

Christian Beranek - We've had such a tumultuous journey, you and I. I'm very proud of your success and look forward to seeing what's on the horizon with you. Thank you for keeping me in your arsenal and giving me the opportunities you have--and for being a good friend.

Mike Wellman - Hey Daddy-O! Thank you for being about the most positive person I've ever met. If life ever gets to you, you never show it. And I wish I had that kind of grace and composure. Thanks for your continued support of my musical and comic book endeavors, and for showing me a great example of a new father.

Michael Ashanti - It's going to break my heart knowing that you're an ocean away now. I'm so glad you found a companion in life and I with the two of you all the love and joy I can muster. I can't wait until we're both in a place when we can work together in the same room again. For now our careers have sent us on opposite sides of the planet, but you will always be my musical soul brother.

Christopher North - What a crazy year for you! I'm so glad you have been able to set down the roots for not only a great family but a respected career. I'll try no to be so much of a stranger next year. You always have my well wishes and support.

Chris Woodward - Can you believe we've been friends for 29 goddamn years? When the hell are you going to move to LA??

James Rodriguez - I miss my artist and partner more than I ever let on. I'm ready to get the ball rolling again, and it seems like you've got some time on your hands. Let's talk.

Raquel Griffiths - Thank you for believing in me, championing me to S&B and being a class act of a boss and lady. I don't think I ever express how much you teach me. Just know it's greatly appreciated. I promise not to screw up on your watch.

Lauren Perry - You are a true friend to me and understand me in ways no one else does. I'm sorry you have to see all that. :-P

Denise Scanlon - For letting me in so deeply into your family I can only say thanks. Thank you also for being there for both Christy and I when times are tough. You're the coolest mom-in-law I've ever had.

The Band - Guys, I promise this coming year is our year. Thank you for the fantastic gig this past summer, your talent and professionalism. I'll be in touch very soon with my plan for '09!

Southbay Bob - Thanks for being a continued staple in the music scene here and always letting me know when there's an event I need to be at. You're one of my California friends that I really need to get to know better, and I'll make a point of that in 2009.

Jeremiah Roiko - Can't believe I almost forgot you. That would have been tragic, as you are an amazing  talent, a welcome colleague and a good friend. I truly love sharing the stage with you and hope we get more chances to do it in the coming years.

Keith Murphey - Thank you for continuing to be a valued friend and colleague despite whatever differences we've had. You are the reason I continued my comic book career, and that fact will never go undisputed. Best of luck with whatever you choose to pursue.

I'm sure I missed a lot of folks, and hopefully I'll get to them before the new year starts. Until then I say “Merry Christmas to All!” Have a great one!

Blogged with the Flock Browser

November 25 Midnight Pages

It's been a good minute.

Figured I was due to take to some time off of blogging. That and I've been very busy with other projects. And there was a certain amount of drama swirling around me that I decided I needed to shake. The one big problem with the internet is that it's very easy to have things misinterpreted and misconstrued. As a point of fact: I was right, everyone else was wrong, and I think history will, in the end, agree with me.

But enough of that. Things are proceeding apace. I spent a good few weeks drafting a treatment for Kingdom Comics, and while I'm still waiting for word from the Disney execs, the initial feedback was favorable. Even if I get rejected from the Magic Kingdom I have a decent IP that I can shop to other studios and/or publishers. It's probably high time to get a rep. A real one, this time.

Have decided to take a creative hiatus until after the holidays. I'll be milling around a few personal projects (read: the next record and QUANTUM), but my main focus will be on enjoying my family and friends and chilling the fuck out for a change. I've been busting my ass for a long time, and I think I've earned a respite.

That said, I'm ready to recharge. I have big plans for my musical endeavors, which I won't go into great detail about here. Suffice it to say the next Philip Clark record is icing on the cake. I'm ready to kick some musical ass in '09.

Speaking of, I've been hitting the Pro Blues Jam in Playa Del Rey at the Prince O' Whales. Good bunch of guys, and I feel welcome and appreciated on their stage. It keeps my chops up and puts me in good contact with other musicians. I'll try to repeat this as much as I can.

Anyway, I'm just filing a quick report before I nod off to beddy-bye. Two more days of work and then my first paid holiday since God-knows-when. I'm gonna be chillin' like a villain this weekend.

More later,
PC

Reposting this: 2+ years ago, my LA statement of purpose

From March 16th, 2006:

An open letter to the Los Angeles creative community

Hello all. My name is Philip Clark. I self-publish QUANTUM: Rock of Ages, and I'm a very active member in the NYC and independent comic book community. I'm writing this letter to let you know that I am coming your way, moving to the left coast, and I have some great things to bring to the table in the City of Angels. That is, if you'll have me.

I know it's pretty forward for me to just bust in on your sandy plane brimming with new ideas and all, but if you'll bear with me for a moment, I'll show you what I hope to contribute to the scene out there.

The first thing I propose to do is set up an LA chapter of the Comic Art Guild.

http://ping.fm/CoGiF

We are an organization of comic book writers, artists, inkers, letterers, publishers, and enthusiasts, united in networking and educating ourselves in the way of the industry. I will be hosting meetings in LA for anyone interested in getting into comics as a hobby or career. I'd also like to network with any such existing organizations and like-minded professionals.

Secondly, I will be setting up my publishing and production operation in Manhattan Beach, and I invite all LA area creators to contact me if they need any consultation regarding comic book pre-press or music production. I have published several successful comics, flyers, banners, and web ads. And I have an extensive music industry resumé and discography. I've been in the trenches, not only as a commercial producer, but also an art director, publisher, and an accounts/personnel manager. I will be posting my resume and portfolio online within the next week. If you'd like to read my comic book, you can do so at http://quantumcomic.net

Third, I will be forming a new band, recording a new Philip Clark record, and playing several live shows. Any musician who truly wants to flow with the funk should contact me. I will immediately be looking for a rhythm section (drums, bass, guitar) and possibly an auxiliary keyboard player. In addition to being a vocalist and multi-instrumentalist, I'm a two-time winner at the Apollo, and I plan to bring my brand of Soul to Los Angeles. Feel free to listen to the first record at http://philipclark.com

I wish to meet and connect with all of my fellow independent artists, writers, musicians, and creators. I truly feel that if you help enough people, you eventually help yourself. As such, it is my goal to be an asset in any professional venture I undertake. If you have a gig for a guy who will put the team first, I'm you're guy.

At the end of the day, I simply want to have fun. I'm hoping to find a position that will feed that desire and still be productive.

I'm hoping you've read these words, and will contact me if you feel I'm the quality of person you'd like to associate with. It's my belief that positivity breeds positivity, and that's where I'm coming from.

My Cali residency begins April 1st. I'm hoping I meet some folks who might be willing to show me around town.

Look forward to hearing from you,
Philip Clark

WEB RADIO FEATURE

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September 23, 2008 Midnight Pages

Wow, sorry it's been so long.

I literally haven't had a minute to write. Ok, lame excuse. But I guess I've been doing a lot of living and took an accidental break from journaling. Shouldn't happen again. It also shows a lack of discipline, and that's the kind of thing I'm trying to break.

I've been all over the map, truth to tell. Been nabbing one-man music gigs just to stay fresh. It's annoying that I'm still too cash poor to rehearse with the band, much less publish QUANTUM #7. Sucks having a book in the can and not being able to publish it. It's starting to piss me off.

The good news is that I'm being creative. Pre-production on the new record is proceeding apace. Working out the kinks and building beats for stuff. It's all really rough, but it's reassuring me that the songs themselves are pretty solid. There is going to be a decision soon, however. The record is a lot poppier (as in more pop-sounding) that the last. A lot more songs feeling like “Twenty Days,” which I suppose is a good thing, because that song's a fan favorite. And although I have a tendency to try to program the drums to sound more live, I think I'll be doing R&B drum mixes simultaneously. That will give me two arrangements of every tune, and then when it comes time to decide to Urban I wish this record to sound I can pick and choose by song.

That will also give me alternate remixes that I can release at another date. It's something I played with on SOBES and never implemented. Since I can't find any remixers right now, I'll just do it myself.



Logic Pro is some serious shit. I'm still learning it, and I've been a power user for years. I wish I could find a diagram of ProTools key commands so I could customize Logic appropriately. It'd be great to just take a couple days to really get it under my fingers. That may be my weekend project. But the features are completely out of this world. It really makes MIDI instruments superfluous. Still have to get the audio interface so I can start tracking acoustic stuff.

Lots to catch up on. Will try getting up early enough tomorrow to continue morning pages.

Peace and chicken grease,
P

Standby...

I know it's been a while since I've posted. I'll more than likely get something up tonight. Stay tuned.

September 10, 2008 Morning Pages

I have so little time to crank this out, so I'm going to type like the wind. Lots on my mind, no real organization, but want to get it down simply because that's what morning pages are for.

First and foremost: glad to be alive. Guess the Large Hadron Collider didn't destroy the planet after all. Crisis averted. Can we all move on now?

Item. Woke up this morning taken out of a fantastic dream I was having about being on stage with The Purple One by a hungry, impatient beagle. I love having dreams about simply being in the same room as Prince, as I realize that the likelihood of it actually happening is pretty nil. One part I vividly remember was him playing a huge 6-string bass, surrounded by scores of hot women who were also thumping on the bass in various places. Made for such a great visual. I must have been playing in the band in some capacity, because I was on stage and not watching from the crowd. God, I love a good dream.

Item. Got to give it up for the new iTunes. Two very significant improvements to the software, most notably the new “Genius” feature. iTunes now studies your music library and besides giving you recommendations on what music you may be missing (which it's done for awhile in its “mini-store”), it can craft you a custom playlist using your library based on any song in that library. Just to give it a good test, I plugged one of my songs into it and was pleasantly surprised at what iTunes chose to pair my music with. Also updated is the visualizer. It looks pretty amazing as well.

As long as were talking about amazing looking things, let's move on to TV. Caught two premieres last night. Ok, actually one and a half. I watched the full pilot for Fox's FRINGE and stumbled into SONS OF ANARCHY about halfway through. It amazes me at how much good drama doesn't take long to seep in, because I got more enjoyment out of the 30 or 40 minutes I saw of ANARCHY than the nearly 90 minutes I sat through FRINGE. And I wasn't even all that interested in catching this new FX series. It wasn't on my radar. I'd heard passing things about it from a couple friends at work. And it's definitely not my usual cup of tea. But there are so many great things about this show so far, that I think I'm instantly hooked.

First, it's like The Sopranos, but on Harleys. How brilliant is that?

Second, it's impeccably cast. Ron Perlman made a phenomenal choice taking this role hot off of Hellboy. And, prediction time:

KATY SEGAL IS EMMY BOUND. MARK MY WORDS.

There are so many other great aspects of this show that I haven't gotten hip to. I must see the pilot in its entirety. The set-up and premise to this drama is pretty engaging. I may have found a new favorite for fall.

...which means that I'm going to have to cut something else I was planning on watching, and that will more than likely be Fringe. For all the wait and hype, it got a serious “meh” from me in the end. I think, perhaps, because it really just picks up from where the X-Files left off, and I really wasn't that into the X-Files. Sorry, JJ Abrams. Sorry Joshua Jackson. I love you both, and I'll give this series a couple more chances, but I have a feeling I'm just not going to be that into you.

Ok, that's good for today. Off to the exciting world of graphic design.

September 9, 2008 Morning Pages

Wow, it's been a minute.

Have been so tied up personal health concerns lately that I've been missing my journaling routine. Today, fortunately I woke up early enough to correct that.

But, to be honest--and I won't say I was blocked because I don't buy into block--but I do believe that a great deal of my own creative engine is also tied to my confidence. And that, as of late, has been hanging pretty low. The good news is that I've spent a great deal of this past week focusing on the new record and pre-producing much of the material therein. The recently-puchased G5 runs like a top even without the audio interface, so at the very least I'm able to get basic sequencing and music demos cranked out. I'm actively working on 3 songs this week alone. Have very good demo-able versions of “All 4 the Love of U” and “Big Blue Sky” nearly out of first draft stage. “November Rain” looks to be a lot more challenging, however, and I'm going to have to take a long hard look at how it's going to be produced. On a songwriting level alone it's a early fan favorite, and I want to make sure I do it justice.

With the new Thicke record looming on the horizon, it's led to me think a lot about how my new record is going to sound. The answer hasn't really changed: it's going to sound like it's going to sound. This project has been gestating for the better part of six or seven years. It's material that's been back-burnered since “State of Blue-Eyed Soul,” and I need to get it out of my mental queue. Depending on how things sound when I've really got some finished songs done, we'll see how much makes it on the record. But I've got a good 12-14 songs that could come out of this. There is also the temptation to start fresh with some new sounding things as well. My main fear is that I've already dated these songs before they even see the light of day, but that's really going to be a production issue. The songs, in and of themselves, are solid enough in my opinion. And at the end of the day I can't be bothered by what the Robin Thicke's or Justin Timberlakes are doing. I can only make the best music I know how to make. That's all I've ever done.

But already this record is going to be a lot more pop-y, which may be a source of concern to me. I kind of wanted to lean more toward R&B, but at the same time didn't want this record to sound as self-produced. It is a goal to make sure this record sounds more like other, live musicians participated. So, again, I have to divorce myself from the status quo and just put out the next great Philip Clark album.

Anyway, it sounds like if worse came to worse, I would grow out my facial hair and make a killing as a Robin Thicke impersonator. I hear there might be some money in that.

Ha. There would have to be.

Continuing from yesterday, here is the rest of my tribute to my favorite Blue Eyed Soul artists:

David Pack



Probably one of the most under-appreciated of his era. As Ambrosia's lead singer, Pack's style and voice were absolutely genre defining. He also did a number of solo stints in the 80's that were totally overlooked. This guy gets many props in my book.


Paul Carrick



Another under-appreciated gem. But you'd know him if you'd heard him. Just go to Ace's “How Long Has This Been Going On,” Squeeze's “Tempted” or “Silent Running” by Mike and the Mechanics--not to mention his own solo work. A Blue Eyed Soul powerhouse.


Phil Collins



Phil had a soul, charm and sense of song-craft and rhythm that was truly his own and pushed him to the forefront of the 80's music scene as a member of Genesis. But album tracks off his solo outings will really show this guy had a deep love for old-school soul.


George Michael



Hitting with a massively luscious voice, good looks, and steady hooks, this brit took the best elements of his Stevie Wonder influence and ruled the late 80's and early 90's. His solo debut, “Faith,” is still ground-breaking to this day.


Annie Lennox



A complete soulful vocal powerhouse. I don't know many people funkier than this woman. She's outright dangerous with how much passion and soul she has. It's actually kind of scary.


Robbie Nevil



“C'est La Vie” indeed. This phenomenal singer, songwriter and producer is vastly under-appreciated. Go find his music and absorb it.


Richard Marx



Probably best known for 80's soft-ballads, Marx is a songwriter's songwriter and a hell of a vocalist. All commercial success aside, he is a prime example of all things true and blue.


Robert Palmer



How could this guy leave our planet so quickly and suddenly. This guy had pipes and pizzazz. A Blue Eyed Soul great.


Peter Cox



Most people will gloss over Peter as the frontman of Go West. But dig deeper and you'll find a fantastic solo career, lyrical vocal range and fluidity and a deep rooted passion. Singers, do yourself a favor and study this guy.


Jon B.



An absolute force to be reckoned in modern R&B, I truly can not believe this guy is white sometimes.


Jamiroquai



Pooling his own quirkiness with a huge Stevie Wonder influence, Jay Kay helped bring Acid Jazz to the masses.


Justin Timberlake



As a member of NSYNC and eventually a massive solo artist, you can't deny that JT is probably the epitome of what Blue Eyed Soul has become today. At times, I feel he does a better Michael Jackson than Michael Jackson.


Remy Shand



Unfortunately, this guy only had a couple of hits a few years back. But this one-man production and music prodigy has some serious chops--as both a multi-instumentalist and singer. You can hear Marvin's ghost coming out of this kid. Gives me chills.


Robin Thicke



Although probably the closest thing I'll ever have to a nemesis, you have to give the guy credit. He's a capable singer and songwriter who's paid his dues and struck a chord with the mainstream. His ground-breaking “Lost Without You” is as smooth as hot butter. Very much looking forward to the upcoming record.


Tomi



An overlooked Blue Eyed Soulster of this era. Go out and buy this guy's debut album NOW! Tomi mixes the best of what you'd expect from Justin or Robin, spins with a heavy Prince influence and then puts his own mark on it. Highly recommended.


Marc Broussard



What little I've heard of this guy I very much enjoy. Looks like he's very well on his way to helping usher in the next level of Blue Eyed Soulfulness.


Jamie Lidell



A relatively new voice in the genre, but one that's gotten high critical acclaim. Keep an eye out for this one.


Philip Clark



What kind of list would this be without...ME? Yes I'll keep the tooting of my own horn to the minimum, but be assured that you'll see great things coming up, and I'll hopefully earn my place on this list of legends.

September 3, 2008 Evening Pages - Philip's Blue Eyed Soul Hall of Fame, Pt. 1

Gonna take this morning to talk about “Blue Eyed Soul.” Now, some folks love the term, others hate it. Myself, I find it makes it a lot easier to effectively tell people what kind of sound I have. Yes, of course, it's all Soul Music. But “Blue Eyed” is a distinction that only a few of us can truly pull off well. Here's my quick tribute to the best of the best:

(I started this list, and I know I'm forgetting someone. I also realized this is going to be a 2-part blog. Forgive me.)

Elvis Presley



Got to give it up for the first. Elvis was really the first white guy to fool the masses into thinking he was black. His voice gave him the huge crossover it took the pioneer a whole new sound.


Jerry Lee Lewis



Taking the best of what Elvis had and adding his own sass and, more importantly, piano to the mix.


The Righteous Brothers



The original Blue Eyed Soul duo. Bill Medley's voice alone is about a dark as they come.


Teena Marie



One of the first Blue Eyed Soul divas. You can't deny how sultry and funky this girl is.


Bobby Caldwell



Just take a listen to “What You Won't Do For Love” and tell me this guy doesn't have soul.


Daryl Hall



Probably one of my biggest influences. Hall took vocal smoothness and combined it with keyboard elegance and sharp songwriting. A soul god in his own right.


John Oates



Not to be ignored but rather highlighted as his own entity. John Oates was more than simply the quiet half of a legendary duo. He composed and produced for several acts in the 80's and 90's to leave a strong legacy of his own.


Michael McDonald



More than likely my single biggest influence in this genre. Michael McDonald's voice took smooth to the same kind of level that Hall's took agressive. But what really separates Michael Mc Donald from the pack is this sheer brilliance as a songwriter. His songs evoke passion, change, heartache and romance all at the same time. No one writes like this guy these days.


Bobby Kimball



Possibly overshadowed due to the fact that he's with a group. But this, the original Toto lead singer, has a range and a mastery of voice that very few have. Bobby was probably one of the first guys I heard that could truly “riff” like a black vocalist but still keep the edge of a rock star.


Gino Vanelli



This Canadian Soulster stuck a resonant chord with smash hits like “I Just Wanna Stop” and “Living Inside Myself.” But the best gems from this guy are ones that never hit the airwaves. And songwriting! Don't even get me started. Take a listen to “Lucky Man” and tell me this guy isn't coming from somewhere uniquely genuine.


Boz Scaggs



Smooth, elegant, with a very dark soulful voice. Boz is undeniably someone you immediate go to for solid 70's soul, of any color.

END OF PART ONE. STAY TUNED FOR PART 2!

Blogged with the Flock Browser

August 31, 2008 Morning Pages

Slowly dragging myself out of the funk I've been in. It was nice to have a good day out in the sun with the wife and mom-in-law yesterday. The Hermosa Beach Festival was a lot less insane than last year; actually manageable. I just remember last year it being hot, muggy, crowded, and impossible to traverse. Not only were we able to sample a good variety of food, we were also able to easily get table space, walk to whole festival with ease and even listen to some of the bands down there.

As much as I'd like to eventually be one of the bands to play this event, I fear it'll probably never happen simply due to the fact that most of the acts are tribute bands. And though I think a Toto/Hall & Oates tribute would be well received, it's just something I intend to put on my plate in the near future.

(Actually, I would love to have a Toto tribute band. It would absolutely kick ass, and I would have an absolute ball doing it. If Led Zepagain can be the toast of the South Bay, I'm pretty sure my Toto band would clean house. But 1) it's hard enough to find musicians for my own project let alone a cover band, and 2) I need to be making my own bloody music right now. This would be too easy of a distraction. But, as an aside, they are one of the best bands ever. If anyone out there ever does form a tribute band in the LA area, please give me a call. I'll sing and play the shit out of that stuff.)



Day 2 of my “vacation.” Hopefully the agenda today is brunch and a movie with the wife, and then I have a few personal things to take care of. There's a phone call I've been putting off for some time now, and I think this weekend is the time to take care of it. It's not something I'm looking forward to, but it's necessary. A friendship is resting on it, and so is my self-respect.

When I first sat down to write this today, I had contemplated doing a review of Blue Eyed Soul over the ages. And though it sounds like a lot of fun, I think it's actually going to take a little more forethought than a simple stream-of-consciousness rambling in this forum. But with the upcoming release of the new Robin Thicke record (translated: Philip severely needs to get his shit together), it might be appropriate to educate the masses that there are several other artists out there (translated: ME!) that are putting out this kind of excellent music. I do have to admit, I was impressed by Mr. Thicke's interview in Billboard, and I hope his calling Vibe magazine out for not putting a white artist on the cover (except Eminem, where the fuck is the logic?) doesn't backfire on him.



I haven't decided if aping the visual motif from his last record is lazy or brilliant, and it looks like the release date's been pushed from Sep 9 to Sep 30. I hope to God they don't cram that duet version of “Magic” featuring Mary J. Blige on this record. These last-minute duets are obviously sales ploys and really piss me off. Here's hoping Thicke's release is a solid one but obviously not a brilliant as what's coming up from yours truly.

Well, I'm back on a reasonable clip with the writing again. Took me long enough. Hopefully I'll be back tomorrow with even more brilliance. Peace.

August 30, 2008 Noon Pages

Right.

This is the essence of the whole principal of the morning pages. I have absolutely no idea what the hell I'm going to write here today. As per previous entries, I've been pretty lethargic, depressed, and pretty much uninspired for the better part of a week or two. My creative drive has been reduced to squat, and my confidence is about non-existent. I really don't feel like I've got anything to give lately. Which is a real drag, because it's not like I don't have plenty of ideas brewing or on the back-burner.

But it's also Labor Day weekend, and probably the last best hope for me to have any kind of break or vacation before the holidays. I've got 72 hours to try to recharge, relax, and find some way to look forward to the months to come.

So today I'm heading out with the wife and mom-in-law to the Hermosa Beach Festival. This is something they do every Memorial Day and Labor Day weekend. It's got vendors, artists, and bands, and it's generally a pretty cool vibe.

Well, mom-in-law just arrived, so I'll try to make a serious entry tomorrow. It's really time for me to get back into my groove again.

August 28, 2008 Morning Pages - Crawling out from under the rock which I'm hiding

Not a lot of time to journal today, but I wanted to begin getting my creative momentum back. Truth to tell, I've been a little lost, lonely and confused about a lot of things and I've shut up just about completely in an effort to deal with them. I've felt lethargic, depressed, nearly sick. What a terrible way to spend August--generally one of my favorite months.

I've also been caught up in the middle of a whole hot mess of drama that seems to be getting worse rather than better. And that makes me sad.

The good news is that the wife and I had a pretty encouraging talk last night, and it's made me think about what's most important in my life.

But first things first: time to crawl out from under the rock I've been hiding the past few days. Apologies to any of you that have wondered where the hell I was. I'll work on getting right soon.

August 21, 2008 Morning Pages - I have talented friends

Not a lot of time to blog today, and since most of the time all I do is talk about myself in these pages I thought I'd go for something a little different.

The great thing about the internet is how accessible content is nowadays. Combine that with some of the talented people I know and that makes for hopefully a pretty exciting entry. So here's a taste of some of the gifted folks I call friends.

First up is my friend Tony T. I played with Tony in a couple bands back in NYC. Tony is one serious cat. His probably most notable claim to fame was being a part of the "Late Night" band in the early David Letterman days, before Anton Fig. A true gentleman and all around nice-guy, Tony comes from serious old-school drumming, siting influences like Buddy Rich and Gene Crupa.



Next up is Lydia. Now, I've never had the privilege of actually meeting her, but I feel like a kindred spirit with her because the girl is so fundamentally FUNKY. Looks like she's played with the likes of Candy Dulfer and Marcus Miller, and that's good enough to win much respect in my book. Plus, she can SANG. Check this.



Another drummer friend of mine. David Penna is a product rep for Korg. He's also a great songwriter and producer. And I didn't know this at all, but he has a deep love for Jungle Music and Drum and Bass.



I'll wrap this up with Carla Lynne Hall, the DIY Diva. Besides being probably one of the coolest people I know, Carla is a veru talented singer/songwriter in her own right. She also has a great blog for musicians called Rock Star Life Lessons. Pay attention.



That's it for today. I'm gonna be so late for work.

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Drummers, looking to improve your chops? Check out my buddy Tony T's videos. http://ping.fm/fCgUH

is checking out Ben Lazar's awesome article on Imani Coppola http://ping.fm/1ThIK

is cranking out PDFs.

is giving his friends serious love. It sucks to be on my bad side right about now.

download my record for FREE at Aime Street! http://ping.fm/idHIL

New morning pages are up. http://ping.fm/wWn1h or http://ping.fm/6roKO

August 19, 2008 Morning Pages

Man, it was hard to get up this morning. Probably because I was late getting to bed last night. I've also been taking Tai Chi lessons on Monday nights, and my instructor tells me that has a way of keeping up up and restless.

I'm enjoying the Tai Chi very much; I just wish I could remember all the moves. So far we've gone from preparation to 'brush knee and strike right." My retention is terrible, and part of the reason is because I simply don't practice. Now I'm completely guilty of what I used to tell people who never studied their instrument. The whole thing is a great exercise in learning something that, so far, I'm just not very good at. It's taking me completely out of my element and forcing me to get over myself and press on. And I love it. This is something I've always wanted to learn, and I'm sticking with it no matter how difficult it is.


Another thing that I'm committed to until fruition is the Thirty Day Challenge. I've been trying diligently to catch up with the lessons, and I've already learned so much. But my discovery last night was huge.


I'm talking about Flock. I truly believe my days as a Firefox user are numbered because of this awesome web browser. Not only is it fully functional, intuitive, and speedy; it is designed to integrate several social networking sites, email, newsfeeds, blogs--all by itself. Once you've set it up for the first time, all of your personal information is at your fingertips. Plus you can easily drag and drop information as you see fit. It's actually a seriously powerful piece of software, and I can't wait to see what kind of damage I can do with it. The whole thing about the 30dc is to streamline your browsing experience so you have more time to capitalize on targeting your niche audience. I'm picking up the one aspect very quickly, I can't wait to learn the next. For anyone wishing to delve into internet marketing, this FREE online workshop is highly recommended.

Briefly, my friend Christian and I were having a conversation about what appears to be comic pros need to fuss, fight, and create otherwise unsavory drama. And although I've been a party to this myself, in my early days, I really can't believe what I'm seeing lately. It seems that some of these people are just stirring up the shit so they can get noticed and make a bigger name for themselves, thinking that that will somehow yield them some kind of deal quicker. What it's really doing is turning off people who could potentially be their audience and giving the comic book industry a bad rep. These guys need to take lessons from folks like Neil Gaiman, Alan Moore, Frank Miller and Mark Millar--that rarely does personal drama get you anywhere. What really gets you anywhere is the work you create.

This is a lesson that, thanks to these other examples, I can easily remind myself of. It puts a lot of the past couple weeks in perspective and clears my head to go out and do exactly what it is I need to.

Testing, testing, one two three...

Just testing out a new way to blog stuff. If you like what you see, why don't you go pick it up?

Blogged with the Flock Browser

just discovered Flock, and it is good.

August 18, 2008 Morning Pages - Dreams, 30-day Challenge, and more

Ever have one of those dreams when there's a character in it about to dispense some kind of really important knowledge--something mind-shattering and truly earth-changing--when, all of a sudden, just as he's about to speak this ultimate pearl of wisdom, your alarm goes off?

Welcome to my Monday. I hate those kind of dreams almost as much as the dream where you've met this amazingly beautiful woman. And for some unbelievable reason (hey, it's a dream) she wants to have sex with you. You kiss, engage in some very awe-inspiring foreplay and just as your about to have the dream sex of your life...well, we all know what happens.

I don't know why my subconscious is pulling the rug out from under me like that lately. Perhaps it's sending me a message. Get it while the getting's good. Maybe that was the mind-shattering revelation I missed this morning. I reflect on this knowing that I've been doing the exact opposite for the past couple weeks. That I've been so hurt and depressed by recent events that I'd pretty much shut down creatively, and now I'm kicking myself for the progress I've lost. I have to remember I have a lot of shit to do and it's not going to do itself.

So please let this be the end of my suffering and anger due to recent events. Let this serve as notice that I truly don't care what my enemies say about me, because--as Michael Franti--would say: If I'm not making enemies, I'm not doing my job. There will always be petty, jealous people out there trying to nay-say you or steal your thunder. I simply need to be focused and confident enough to not care about them or what they have to say. My mistake was trusting those people long enough to let them rattle me in the first place.

Anyway, on to other things. I've been late to the party on the Thirty Day Challenge, and I wanted to take a moment to plug it. Ed Dale has taken the time and energy to help you--yes, even you--to make your first $10 online. I'm still in the preseason, but even the tips to supercharge your web browser and streamline your ability to discover and manage content on the web has been impressive. I highly recommend Bloglines for anyone that browses blogs and news feeds with any kind of frequency. There's also StumbleUpon, which if placed in the wrong hands could be a monumental time waster. But, thanks to Ed, in a relatively short amount of time, I've been able to centralize my news sources without having to load a bunch of windows in my browser--which is pretty fucking huge. I'm going to try to catch up to the rest of the program as quickly as I can this week, and I also need team members. So if this is something that sounds even remotely interesting to you, please sign up and get back to me letting me know you're needing a team. Perhaps we can help each other out.

As long as I'm plugging sites, there are a couple music-based sites that I've found very interesting. Rock Star Life Lessons is run by my good friend and colleague, Carla Hall. Also, if you like Soul Music, check out Ben Lazar's Deeper Shade of Soul blog. He just wrote a moving tribute to the recent passing of producer and music mogul Jerry Wexler.

That's all I really have time for today, and I didn't even get to lay out my goals for the week. I'll post those tomorrow, hopefully.

August 17, 2008 Noon Pages

Sorry I missed yesterday, took a much-needed day for myself. Ended up hanging at the beach and having a great hang with my friend Scott. Nice to finally find a male friend out here that I feel I have a lot in common with.

Anyway, this entry will more than likely be Part 2 of my “You're All Wrong” posting. You see, there was a reason I posted that the other day. I knew it was filled will anger, bile, venom and hate. I knew it was released to enflame and irritate. I knew I was potentially unleashing a very negative sentiment and that I might turn a lot of people off with it.

Did I mean any of those things I wrote? Only slightly. It was mainly for show.

Part of being a creator also means being a fictionalist. While these morning pages are mostly biographical, they are not completely. Part of this exercise is to keep my creative juices, and as a result there will more than likely be material here that doesn't necessarily come off as being exactly how I feel about things.

Am I angry sometimes? Surely. Do I sometimes wish my detractors and enemies ill-will? Occasionally. Do I truly believe the tirade I unleashed upon you, the masses, the other day?

Nah.

But there is a voice in everyone of us as a creative. A voice that has to ignore reality and the conventions of common society. Anyone that has truly thrived in a creative industry, such as the entertainment business, has done so because the ignored common sense long enough to attain their goals.

You don't think Prince, or Picasso, or George Clooney would have been the creative giants they are if they had listened to the sensible precautions they received when they were younger. “An artist?” I can hear it now. “You want to be an artist? Why not try something more stable? You're good with numbers. Why not become an accountant?”

Could you imagine what kind of world we'd live in if Prince had become an accountant instead of the musical god he is?

That's the kind of thing we creatives have to hear every day. Especially as we're struggling to become something greater than what we currently are. And I bet you, at this very moment, there is an accountant out there in the world just plotting and planning for his time in the spotlight as something greater than his previous programming. I live in a city of waitresses, graphic designers, janitors, and nurses just holding out for their shot at stardom.

You see, I have always held the belief that I am a super-hero. Call it years of reading and then eventually creating too many comic books. But the super-hero has the best mindset when it comes to being larger than you actually are. Secret identity and all. By day, you're a mild-mannered photographer for a major metropolitan newspaper. By night, you're swinging over the rooftops of Manhattan, climbing walls and taking out the scum and villainy that preys upon the innocent. Who doesn't want to be like that?

Every single creative person has the same alter-ego going on with them every day. It's the only thing that keeps us going. I have to believe that one day I will be a star, that something I have created will be appreciated by a greater audience. Hell, might even improve or affect the world which is so much larger and greater than myself.

This is the grand self-deception that we artists must have to stay alive. Because if we didn't have it, this world would just be filled with plain folks.

So realize that I've spent years knowing that “with great power comes great responsibility.” I've taken a lot of time to truly realize whether I'm using my powers for good and evil. Those of you that truly know me know that I am a creature of light. That I could never be mindfully harmful of anyone or anything. That I am always trying to create, to heal. And I have a body of work to back that up.

I am a hero. Those of you that question that might want to take another look at who's telling you differently. Maybe they've made decisions that are not as righteous.

Don't have as much time this morning to crank out the tirade I had planned, which is probably a good thing. Instead, I'll just go stream-of-consciousness and send a fairly brief message to all my detractors.

You might remember a couple days ago I took the temperature here on how many people are still paying attention and/or support my endeavors. The response was somewhat light. But to those people I say a genuine and heartfelt 'thank you.' The messages, IM, and emails that I got from you were humbling and inspiring at the same time. I thank you for your well wishes and appreciate having you on my side and in my life.

What follows is for the rest of you, to those that do not support me and/or maybe actually be going out of their way to sabotage my progress or good name...

You're all wrong.

And if you think that your slings and arrows are going to dissuade me; if you think that you can back-stab me, spit in my face, disrespect me or try to ruin me, you've got another thing coming. Far worthier people have tried and failed. I'm a survivor, and I'm far more clever and talented and any single one of you. I've pulled myself from a cow-town in B-fucking-E Wyoming to being one of the most respected session players in New York City. I've played The Apollo, for fuck's sake. I started my own publishing company, and I released my science fiction epic to rave reviews. And I've earned the admiration and respect of my peers and colleagues in the comic book industry. I even uprooted all that from New York and re-planted it in LA, and after all that it's flourishing.

I've battled a broken home, divorced parents, trailer parks, depression, a schizophrenic mother, alcohol abuse, drug abuse, small press collectives, pathetic internet feuds, song sharks, shady managers, Hollywood blowhards, corporations, hacks, liars, muggers, hookers, overly loud guitar players and crack addicts. And I'm still here to tell the tale.

And you are not ready for what's coming from me. You simply are not. I am going to come on harder than the fundamental tone of the loudest 808 boom you've ever experienced. I am going to rattle walls, shatter windows, scare the bejeezus out of your household pets, make your women cream and your men reconsider their alleged manhood.

You're not ready. So I advise you to stay out of my way. Especially those of you that have pissed me off. You know who you are.

You've got nothing. You're a bunch of amateurs.

What the fuck have you done, anyway?

August 14, 2008 Morning Pages - On the Kirkman Manifesto

Ok, it's time to get back to it. I've spent enough time wallowing in depression, and frankly I'm sick of it. There's simply too much to do, and never enough time to do it.

Today I'm thinking about a couple subjects, but first I want to discuss Robert Kirkman's Mission Statement. First of all, that's a misnomer. What he posted was not a true mission statement--something that outlines his personal platform and goals for his life or career--but rather a series of opinions on how he feels the comic industry should be running. The title "video editorial" is much more suitable to "mission statement." I got nothing out of the video that told me who Kirkman thinks he is and what he personally intends to do with this newfound stature he's attained.

That said, I did find his remarks intriguing. In fact, he's not really saying anything at this point that a lot of us indie comic book folk don't already feel. but I think he offers some great philosophies and alternatives for creators that get stuck working for the Big Two and then get discarded like so much rubbish. And if you follow the examples of folks who have already applied his philosophy (Neil Gaiman, Mark Millar, Frank Miller), you can see he's pretty spot on with his assessment that there's only so much wealth to be had working for Marvel or DC. He also makes a pretty compelling case about the market of Fanboys (or, more accurately, FanMEN), and how that role could very well be the last nail in the coffin of mainstream comics. Plus, I know a lot of creators that absolutely get stuck in the predicament Kirkman describes: going to work for the Big Two and then having nothing to show for it at the end of the day. All that creation and not any way to profit from it in the long run.

Now, I'm a fan of Brian Michael Bendis, and listening to Kirkman made me really think about the position he's in at this point. Bendis is a prime candidate for being swept under the rug just as Kirkman describes. Because, what's he really got at Marvel that's going to pay off long term. He's got Powers, and that's about it. Every thing else he's done for the House of Ideas has been with their characters. He's spent years hammering out stories about Spidey, Wolverine, The Avengers, etc. Those stories will eventually fade into history and he won't see a dime for them. The best Bendis could do to profit from his contracts at Marvel is to become Editor-in-Chief, and I don't see that kind of thing happening for quite a long time. He might be one of those creators that might do well jumping ship, as Kirkman suggests. Geoff Johns is another one of these people. What the hell is he going to do once his star fades?

I think Kirkman did well to shine some light on the fact that the comic book industry is going to need original content to survive; that Marvel and DC are huge corporations that, at this state, will run themselves. That there is a home for superheroes, and there always will be. The the best an independent creator can do is just that: create. Come up with as many original properties as you can and hang onto to the IP rights with all your might. We've seen that Hollywood is scooping up just about every comic book property it can right now. Whether that's going to be a benefit or a detriment in the long run remains to be seen.

But one thing's for certain: it's the best chance for small guys like me to profit from this whole business. So, thank you, Robert Kirkman. Even though your mission statement was poorly named, you got your point across. I'm sure comic creators all over the world will be talking about it for a while.

That's all I have time for today. Tomorrow: You're All Wrong.

August 13, 2008 Morning Pages - Please Check In!

Don't have a ton of time this morning, but I did want to start getting back into the habit of journaling here again. It's been a rough couple of weeks, but I've worked out a lot of the issues that have kept me from recording my thoughts. I wish I could make them public, but I really needed to internalize to keep from upsetting certain parties.

That said, at this point I am rallying for your support. There is going to come a time soon when I will be calling on my friends, fans, colleagues and associates, and I need to know who's still paying attention out there. The lackluster response to announcements I made during Comic Con week leads me to believe that the answer is simply: not many folks are paying attention. It's a dangerous position an artists finds himself in when he feels he's lost his audience. And worse, it's an even more dangerous position that one finds himself in when he feels he's lost actual friends.

I don't do this a lot; call out for support. But I do need it right now. I need to know who's still on my side; who is still committed to my mission. So I'm asking any and all that are reading these words to please add a comment expressing your support. I need to rally a team together, and soon I will be calling on each and everyone of you. Do me a favor and make yourselves known here. And please join my mailing list here. Please?

Who here is still on Team Phil?

August 10, 2008 Midnight Pages

Yeah, it's about time I came back to explain some things.

I've missed this process. I've missed being able to write without any real consequence or restriction. It's too bad that I've been self-censoring. I shouldn't have to do that, but I am ever conscious of pissing some person or rather off, so I've been keeping my trap shut.

It was probably a wise move, because I really have some pretty flammable opinions right now. Those of you that know me probably know what they are, so it doesn't make any sense to go negative.

The lesson this week: let it go and move on. I thank my friend Mike for that. The good news is that fortune has again maybe swung in my favor. So from this point on, it's full steam ahead.

I've needed these couple weeks to regroup and reform. Expect some serious shit to hit this week. Stay tuned.

Tomorrow, expect a real morning page.

August 4, 2008 Morning Pages

Just a quick note to let those that care that I'm alive and well. Feeling a little more hopeful about the week to come but still not inspired enough to write anything that's not going to come across as angry and bitter.

So I'm just working on me for the moment. Thanks to those of you that have contacted me with your concern. It means a lot.

July 31, 2008 Morning Pages

There are no words for how I'm feeling right now.

So I have to try to magically conjure up some. I had promised myself I would leave negativity out of this journal, but there is so much going horribly wrong with me right now I really have nothing else to say. Plus, I just need to get the shit out. So, if you're expecting sunshine and roses today, I suggest you stop reading now and just wait for tomorrow's entry. Or next week's. Or whenever hopefully soon, because right now I just ain't feeling all that sunny.

no.

On second thought, that's all I've got for today. The potential for me to spit blood, hostility and ire is too great. I'm bitter, angry, depressed and disappointed at too many things and too many people. More than likely someone would get called out, so I'm going to do the respectful thing and take the high road.

And, I guess, until I'm feeling a little more like myself I'm just going to go on silent running for awhile. So it's back to my initial thought:

There are no words for how I'm feeling right now.

July 29, 2008 Morning Pages - On Writer's Block

Have no idea, really, what I want to write about this morning. Which makes is that much more important that I actually commit something to paper.

It's funny. I saw a thread on the Bendis Board last night from a guy posting something like "Aaaaugh, I have writer's block." It's a term that I refuse to even dignify, and seeing things like that posted last night on the board make me just want to roll my eyes and slap someone silly.

You see, my opinion is: there is no writer's block. I mean, how often does some one get "speaker's block" (ok, all you mute people, put your hands down)? More often than not, I think more people should just shut the fuck up and listen, but that's not really my point. My point is that this demon that writer's conjure up called "block" is really just self-indulgent bullshit. It's useless, it's silly, and it's of no benefit to anyone other than the writer who's thrown his hands up in the air to say "look at me, I can't create."

Please.

The one thing I've learned as a creator is that our time on this Big Blue Marble is pretty limited, and the best that we can do is to create as much as we can in that short amount of space. Especially men, who don't have the luxury (yeah, I'll call it that) of being able to gestate a child from their own being, there should be no damn excuse NOT to create. It really is the only way of forming any kind of proof or legacy that you were on this planet to begin with.

I don't think enough "creators" get into the discipline of creating. They take it that as artists, some invisible force just willy-nilly comes over you and that by some magic happenstance the idea pops into your head. And you just happened to be paying attention to your own brain long enough to jot the idea down on a notepad, or get to a keyboard or guitar or canvas or whatever your main instrument of creation might be. That inspiration is random, and we as the artist are just lucky enough to record the ideas that we get when they come to us.

Rubbish.

Creating is a discipline, just like any other discipline out there. Good art is the result of focus, determination, thought, insight and discipline. Too many artists rely on the willy-nilly and not enough on committing focus and thought to their craft--perhaps even scheduling specific time in the day to simply focus on the task at hand: creating art.

Look at it from the 9-5 standpoint. Most of us get up in the morning, tidy up, have some kind of sustenance to get ourselves going, and head off to a place of employment to work the next 7-9 hours for their company. It's there, it's steady, it's routine. And every day, one acquires the experience and skill to continue to hone their craft in finance, design, plumbing, prostitution. What have you. The point is, it's a skill; you've built the discipline to pursue it to make ends meet; it is a constant and necessity to your livelihood.

Sure, there are days when you may not FEEL like going to work. Where you may even be sick and have to skip a day or have emergencies which prevent you from attending said work for an amount of time. But it's there, and it's just like art. You're not going to arrive at work one day, sit at your desk and say "my God, for some reason I can't collate these papers today. There some inexplicable force blocking me. I have collate block!"

Save me.

This is precisely why I've committed myself to sitting down, first thing in the morning. Even if I don't feel like it, even if I don't have anything to say, because that's discipline. I'm not a great writer, but I get better every day I hit that page with absolutely no idea what's going to show up on it. I didn't even know what the hell was going to come from this very entry, but I'm moderately happy with the result. Yes, the morning pages tend to be stream-of-consciousness, and were I truly writing a column or an article, I would be editing the hell out of this. But here we have the fruits of the discipline and focus that more artists and writers need to have.

It may sound like arrogance, but I am a conduit through which all things bright and dark flow. I have the power to reach in to the endless pool of creativity and communication and bring to the Earth my own song or story. And although it started young and random, I have developed it over the years and can channel it with just a little bit of forethought and focus.

And so can you, you whiny, blocked writer. Now get out of your own way and create something, will ya?

July 28, 2008 Morning Pages

Ok, back to it.

Wow, already back to Monday again. And it's even almost the end of the month. I swear to God this year has flown by like wildfire.

Puts me in a very sticky predicament. I'm actually really struggling to make ends meet right now. Still trying to recover from the purchase of the new computer, which I realize at this point might have been ill-advised. However, it's one of those "spend money to make money" things, and I just haven't recouped yet. In the meantime, I have to figure out my car payment, cable bill and an unexpected traffic ticket (my first in about 15 years but for a whopping $150). This week isn't going to be much fun, and I've already budgeted for it by buying my week's worth of lunches (read: personal microwaveable servings of soup) and breakfasts (read: oatmeal bars). I could swear I should be getting a check from BMI at some point soon, which would really fucking help right now. Also, once the new computer is functional I can auction off the old one and hopefully get right. It just needs to happen now.

Big promo push for Q7 begins this week. That's another thing I have to figure out how to pay for, although since I'm doing a small run it shouldn't be too awful. But even with the modest push I did last week, I got next to no nibbles, so I'll have to step it up. Plan: send out review PDFs, press release, a few well placed banner ads, reminding the general public that the book exists and begging my friends and family to support. Gotta love small press.

Once those two obstacles are done I should be in good shape to truly begin pre-production on the record, which I have stated will be done before/by the end of the year. That'll be a neat trick. The longer it takes me to get started the less "live sounding" the finished piece will be. But I do truly plan to track some of the songs with a band. Have been reviewing the new songs over in my head, and I vacillate between loving and hating them. I guess I'll have to see what I think of them once I get them in Logic. I remember hating "Twenty Days" and now it's one of my favorite tracks off the first record.

Oh, and somehow in addition to all of this I have to figure out what's going to happen once my car lease is up in October. That, actually, shouldn't be an afterthought and is a poor reminder of just where my priorities are. Better start doing my homework on that.

That's just a smidge of what's coming up this week. Now I have to figure out just how I'm going to make it all work.

I was going to talk briefly about what I'm watching and enjoying on TV, but I think I'll table it for another time. I've gotten my 500ish words out for the day, so I'm now off to the races!

July 27, 2008 Morning Pages

Hello. Yeah, it's been while. Not much. How 'bout you?

So, I've been pretty much under the radar, taking a few days off from journaling because I really didn't have too much good to say or how to say it. I wish I could say I've been busy. I wish I could say I was down in San Diego with my colleagues--that I'm kicking ass, taking names and making deals with highly influential people.

I wish I could say that, but I can't. But, if I were just the faintest bit honest with myself, I'm actually kind of relieved. Oh, sure, I'm bummed, and pissed, and depressed, and all those other emotions that you'd get if you'd missed BOTH of the big comic cons that you usually attend any given year. I'm sad I didn't get to hang out with my friends, that I was even invited to the CAG panel, and that I didn't get to drink up with colleagues, folks I admire, or even Bendis boarders.

I'm sad about all of that. But I am happy that I didn't have to deal with the lines, the crowds, the traffic, the over-priced concessions and the probable hangovers. I did actually get a lot of work done and have a better sense of what I CAN pitch to industry right now. And it's not like I can't do that outside of Comic Con. I'm in LA, pitching here is like going to the beach. Plus, I don't know how many indie deals really go down at Comic Con. All I've heard this weekend is about the Big Two (three, if you count the news at Image) and news about some of my favorite television series. It's just a truism, now, that Comic Con is less about comics and more about new media, movies, and television. The execs and the studios have taken over the show, and until folks stop caring about comic book movies (which, for my sake, I hope is never), that's just the way of things.

So I'll sit and wait until the dust has settled, extract what relevant news came out from the show this year and move on. I am glad to know some of my friends won awards this year, particularly Atom! and Portlyn from Brave New World. As disappointed as I am that The Comic Bug did not win (2nd year in a row, in fact, after rebuilding they shop after a fire, I might add), at least the award went to my other favorite LA shop. Also hearing that folks like Pia Guerra and Chuck BB were recognized made me feel good.

From what I've seen from board threads, blogs, photo galleries, and Twitter--which might as well have been called Con Twitter this weekend--it looked like a good show. I'm bummed I missed Terry Moore. I'm bummed I missed A. David Lewis. I'm sure there were a bunch of creators down there I didn't even know were down there. I'm pissed I didn't get to plant the seeds for the Comic Pro Music Jam I've been trying to get off the ground for a year now.

I'm pissed about all that. But I did get issue 7 in the can. I published my books as eBooks. And I did update the Dreamchilde catalog. And, once the dust settles, I'll put out a press release about all of it.

And I've got my own little hollywood deal in the works, and I did it without having to patrol the locker room that is Comic Con. So I'm building on that.

The new hard drive for the G5 should be here on Tuesday, which will usher in a brand new era here at the Clark residence. I'm already getting nibbles from people who want to make music with me. I'm ready to do some rehearsals so I can do some straight cover gigs in the area. And I know Angela is working on things for me as well.

As slighted as I might feel by the economy of things, it really isn't all that bad. And I handled things much better this time than when I missed New York Comic Con. I don't even think Christy and I fought once this weekend.

So, it's probably time to come out from under the rock I've been hiding. Lots to do. Sorry I've been off the grid for a bit. I just needed a few days to sort it all out.

July 23, 2008 Morning Pages

This is one of those days where I just don't want to get out of bed.

Still remarkably depressed and pissed off at everything. To add insult to injury, the G5 arrived with a broken hard drive. Am in contact with the eBay seller to resolve the matter. I'll keep you posted. But, so far, the unit is DOA.

This is the first time I've had unsatisfactory results from upgrading via eBay, and I'm confident everything will turn out alright in the end. It's just a drag, that's all.

Won't even speak to the rest of my depression, because what good, really, will it do to dwell on it? So I'll turn to something hopefully more positive.

DREAMCHILDE PRESS CATALOG NOW AVAILABLE AS ELECTRONIC COMICS

That's right, true believers (yes, talking like Stan Lee actually does cheer me up), now you can download each issue of QUANTUM: Rock of Ages as an electronic file. Follow this series from the beginning with these out-of-print eComics. And the best part: each issues is only ONE DOLLAR!

Visit the Dreamchilde Store for more info!

July 22, 2008 Morning Pages

You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and then you have the facts of life.

Which, right now, for me, truly blows.

Not a lot to this entry today, because I'd rather keep things positive. And since I'm not feeling very positive today, I'm just going to shut the hell up.

In other news: It's official. I won't be attending Comicon this year. More later.

HELP PHILIP GET TO SAN DIEGO - DAY 1

Monday again. At least this week I'm actually beginning the week fresh as opposed to having a week-long dream prior to waking to the day.

Weekend went by pretty effectively, in that I was able to accomplish nearly everything I needed to including a mid-summer cleaning of the house. Ok, I'll admit: my studio still needs to be cleaned. I would love to introduce my new G5 tower to a non-cluttered environment. I'll see if I can tidy things up tonight.

Have put QUANTUM 7 officially in the can and even pressed a couple of mock-ups with the timely aid of my friend Scott. Have been getting to know him a lot better over the past few weeks and have been enjoying that. He showed me the ad-house/design studio he and his brother built from a workstation in their basement to a fantastic open-air creative commune in the heart of El Segundo. It was definitely impressive. It's also nice to talk to someone who's intelligent and knows what the hell their job's about. So few do. Had to cut my visit with him short due to the wife and her desire to, god forbid, eat dinner, but it looks like I'll have 10 mockups of the book to take to ComiCon...

...if I can go.

Yes, that's right. Now my attendance at the show, albeit brief this year, may be in question. Bills and other expenses have put my in a bit of a financial pinch this week. So much so that it may not be justified for me to spend the money on gas, hotel, etc. for San Diego ComiCon. I'm trying to work my way around the situation and so I'm reaching out to whatever friends and fans I have to help. So, without further adieu...

HELP PHILIP GO TO SAN DIEGO COMICON - DAY 1

Right now, the first best way to raise the funds to make it to the show is to encourage everyone to BUY MY BOOK! Issue 7 of QUANTUM: Rock of Ages is now official available for pre-order. After a two-year hiatus, we've finally gotten back to continuing this tale, and this issue is not to be missed. Make sure you get your copy by ordering now!

And if you can't wait the 4-6 weeks it will take to ship the actual book, you can read it right now AND save $2 by purchasing the eBook. This is a new thing I'm trying with QUANTUM, and I hope folks will try this out--the new way to read comic books. For just one buck, it's a great value!

Of course, reading issue 7 will do you no good unless you've been caught up with the entire series. That's why I'm also offering the QUANTUM: Rock of Ages - Beginnings graphic novel. See how it all began with this collected edition of the first six issues. It's a perfect way to get caught up on all things QUANTUM.

It would really mean a lot to me if you would help me make the trip to San Diego by buying my stuff. The series is a lot of fun. If you love comics, or if you've ever been curious about reading comics, I really think you'll enjoy QUANTUM. It's got sex, drugs, Rock & Roll and time travel; what's not to enjoy?

PLEASE CLICK HERE TO HELP ME GO TO SAN DIEGO!

July 20, 2008 Noon Pages

Ok, lots to talk about, but I am in a rush, so I'll probably only touch on the superficial now and save the big announcements for tomorrow.

So I saw The Dark Night yesterday. Was smart about it and went to an early Saturday showing. No lines, no worries of getting a ticket, and when I was done watching the nearly 3-hour spectacle, I still had the rest of the day to enjoy.

SPOILERS START HERE. SKIP THIS IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT YET!

This latest installment of the Batman saga is not perfect, but pretty close in scope and tone. I have to say how surprised I was that this movie was less about Batman himself and more about adding to his Rogue's Gallery. We get to one again see Cilian Murphy reprise his role as Scarecrow, which I was pleasantly surprised to see, albeit briefly. I was also happy to see more time spent to developing Jim Gordon, who in this movie becomes commissioner of police. We get to see more of his family, including young Barbara--who's face we never see for some reason.

For all the hype about Heath Ledger's Joker--and don't get me wrong, it is exquisite--I was more impress by Aaron Eckhart's performance as Harvey Dent and eventually Two Face. The two villains themselves are pretty much nailed. Although I did enjoy the dark psychosis of the Joker, I would have liked to see a little more of the light, madcap craziness that folks like Nicholson and Hammil lent to the role. But Ledger's performance is compelling and a great bit of acting. Two-face is also appropriately dark and sinister. And the make-up and effect of Dent's other half is brilliant. As gross and disturbing as it needs to be.

This movie was long; essential two movies rolled into one. You get a heaping helping of Joker and Two-face. The comparison to Godfather II is quite accurate, as this is a grand telling of superheroics vs. organized crime. In little time, the Joker takes over crime in Gotham by ruthlessly killing every relevant crime lord. There was a neat little spin the Joker used every time he intimidated his victim: how he got his scars. He tells the story enough times to give us the impression that each tale is actually bullshit. The man remains a true enigma, to the Batman, to the police, especially to us.

Rachel Dawson was used pretty well as well, despite the change in casting. She eventually distances herself away from Bruce Wayne and pledges herself to Harvey Dent just in time to be blown up by the Joker. This act is the final piece of the puzzle that--in addition to the horrible accident that transforms Dent--pushes him over the edge to become the villain Two Face. Even though it appears that Dent is killed at the end, I hope they find some way to bring him back. He was a great addition to the mythos.

What Bale did bring to the movie was, of course, great, and come necessary changes were made to the Batman costume. "You want to be able to turn your head," says Lucius Fox. Yes, Lucius, he's needed to do that for quite some time now. Morgan Freeman is once again a splendid addition to this movie, who along with Michael Caine gives Bruce Wayne a moral compass. I think we even see the beginnings of the Oracle system in this flick.

There are few disappointments and plenty of surprises in this flick. I advise that you set yourself down for a serious ride. This Dark Knight definitely delivers.

END SPOILERS

Lots to do today. Doing a big cleaning of the house because mom-in-law is coming to town tomorrow. Plus, it's that time of year again: time to steam-clean the rugs! Joy! Not!

Note to self. From this day forward, I will never move to a place without hardwood floors.

For those of you that can't wait for the big announcement tomorrow, go to my online store for QUANTUM. You'll find a pleasant surprise there.

Standby

Morning pages tonight, possibly tomorrow. Very busy day, but I have big announcement on the hoizon!

July 18, 2008 Morning Pages

Totally missed morning pages yesterday. I suck.

The good news is that, with the exception of one glaring typo, QUANTUM 7 is pretty much done. Got some good responses to the ad hunt and was able to give life to Times Square that was definitely needed. Here's a teaser of the end result:



Thanks go to Tony Fleecs, Kody Chamberlain, Jeff UK and Susan Sores.

So, pretty excited that it's finally Friday. I get paid and can finally pay for the computer I won on eBay last week. Can't wait to get this puppy into the studio, as I have plenty of music to make before the end of the year.

Had a meeting with Angela last night, who has pretty much taken the initiative to be come my agent/publicist/co-manager. She's a really classy lady who is interested enough in me any my career to beat the street and find venues for me to perform in or get airplay. We had a good conversation last night about the direction I want to go in, who I think my target audience is and what our live performance strategy should be. The next year should be very interesting if we can both knock out some of the goals we laid out.

Although I wasn't one of the millions that took in a midnight screening of The Dark Knight last night, I was able to catch a pretty nifty special on the History Channel called "Batman Unmasked." It was a compelling study of the psychology of Bruce Wayne and his rogues gallery and featured such comic luminaries as Denny O' Neil, Paul Levitz, Dan DiDio, Danny Fingeroth and Len Wein. It made me look that much more forward to the movie, which I will more than likely be catching in the next 24-48 hours.

Also remarkable was the Watchmen trailer. This will more than likely be the next must-see comic book movie. And hopefully they'll be faithful enough to the original graphic novel that it won't totally suck. Judging by the footage so far, they're on the right track.

Ok, off to shower so I can get to my temp agency early and pick up my check. Sayanara.

Standby

Morning pages will probably come tonight.

July 16, 2008 Morning Pages

In contrast to last week flying by, this week seems to be moving at a crawl.

Ain't that just a bitch, the way it works. You spend a certain number of days with nothing to really look forward to, and those days seem to go by quicker than the ones when you have something really important you're looking forward to. Then it seems like the clock runs slower.

I remarked last week about this same kind of phenomenon, except gave it more of a broad generalization; how time seemed to go faster the older you got. I find it amazing that our perception of time changes so much. Would that we could be mechanical and every minute or hour would pass with the same frequency as the next. But we as humans have this more fluid perception of time, and sometimes the minutes, hours, months and years speed up and slow down like the tides. It's really very fascinating.

I'm now 99.9% done with QUANTUM 7, but I hit a bit of a bump. The last page of the story has a character emerging in Times Square, and my artist left several billboards and signs on the buildings blank. Presumably for me to fill with ads and such. Problems is I have absolutely no time to design "fake" ads (can't use real products without permission of the owners of those products, so no Budweiser, Coca-Cola, Cup O' Noodles), and I'm trying to put this in the can yesterday.

So I've gone to the net to try to get ads. So far I've filled one spot. I've got about 3 or 4 more left to fill. Cross your fingers.

Have gotten some great eyes on this book for proofreading this time around. My friend Scott and a co-worker Elizabeth have been particularly helpful. James has signed off on it, and I have to admit, what I worried would be a sucky effort has actually turned into a pretty good comic. I just hope my audience is still out there, eager to read it.

Yesterday at work was absolutely nuts. Everyone was throwing projects at me that needed to be turned around right way. My day was filled with little 15 minute assignments that just kept coming one after the other until about 6PM. As harried as I was, I do have to admit I love the rush of that kind of environment, and it's those times when I finally feel I'm really being challenged. That the real tipper to my workaholic tendencies, I really don't enjoy working unless I have an overabundance of it. Otherwise I'm bored.

God, it's only Wednesday. I need Friday to get here so I can finally pay off this new computer. I'm probably dropping the ball on all things San Diego right now. But that show usually goes better for me when I don't have a lot of plans anyway. I'll create some one-sheets this weekend for titles I'd like to pitch to other publishers and hope for the best. With the current climate of publishing right now coupled with the fact that everybody and their grandmother want to write comics right now, I'm just thankful I'm in the field at all. Only doing one day at SDCC this year, and I should really just concentrate hanging out with old colleagues and enjoying myself.

July 15, 2008 Morning Pages

Well, except for getting a couple objective eyes to proof it, QUANTUM 7 is pretty much ready to send to the printers.

It's a damn shame I don't have the money to print it right now.

That's right, bonehead me, two weeks before ComicCon, spent all his money upgrading to this new G5 and now has no money to print this book that's been on hold for over two years.

The end totally justifies the means, and who knows, I may be able to scrounge up the cash to print at least 50 copies or so just to take down to San Diego. I think a lot of it will depend on if I get any samples from the two printers I'm waiting for. Sidekick looks extremely attractive, I just need to verify their product is adequate. At the absolute worse, I can print up a mock-up here at home. Thank god I bought that large format Canon so I can do 11x17.

Anyway, this entry's going to be short. I was up late last night putting the final touches on the issue, and I drank a little too much wine. Need to jump in the shower and become human again.

July 14, 2008 Morning Pages

Monday again. Does it have to be Monday?

I think I had a dream last night that lasted a whole work week, so I woke up believing it was Saturday again. Alas, it was Monday, and now I feel like I'm working two weeks without a break. Hopefully I can shake that feeling by the afternoon.

Really weird dream involving former schoolmates and even the purple one himself, Prince. He was mentoring me and I was severely disappointing him. Fucking figures.

Awoke to dog drama today. There's been something really weird going on lately with the two dogs. Used to be, even when we had Bailey, that I could fill the dog bowls, set them down and the dogs would just proceed to eating. Now there's this whole ritual going on where Lucy won't eat around Bella, and of course Bella has to eat first. And for some reason, bowls are out of fashion now, because both dogs insist on eating their food off the floor. Bella will simply tip her bowl, spilling her food all over the floor, and then eat it. But Lucy won't even hang around the kitchen any more until Bella is completely done with her meal and out of the kitchen. And now I have to sit and supervise Lucy while she eats. So what used to be another 10 minutes of me snoozing has now turned into me, dead in a chair waiting for a dog to eat.

Oh, and also, Bella's epileptic. So in addition to all that going on this morning I had to help her through a seizure. The good news is that it was mild, meaning she didn't lose any of her bodily functions before or during. It just scares the holy bejeezus out of me that someday one seizure is going to be the last. Pretty frightening stuff.

Sent a proof of QUANTUM 7 to James last night to get one last set of eyes on. Hopefully I can settle on a printer this week, but it doesn't look hopeful for San Diego. Which is no huge deal, considering that I don't even have a table there. It would have just been nice to have to show my colleagues I'm actively creating again.

This week is going to be a tough one. Got paid late and not as much as usual this week, and I still have to pay for the G5 I won on eBay. Looks like it'll be soup for lunch for the rest of the week.

That's all I've got right now. We'll set some goals later or tomorrow.